Non-Jews are for practice
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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