I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
