He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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