he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
