the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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