Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
