Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
