i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
