Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
