FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
