idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i drank out of a bidet.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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