you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
