I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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