I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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