So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
