Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
