have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
