he shaved USA in his pubs
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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