I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
