Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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