he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
