I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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