I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
