Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
