Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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