After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
