Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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