just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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