worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
