belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
