im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
