do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
