whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
