the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
