I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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