You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
