wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
