(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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