There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
