cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Mom said you looked used
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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