you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
