come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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