remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
