I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
