There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
