remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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