I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
