im drinking this country out of the recession.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
