I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
