Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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