im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
